Every Man's Issues

Fellowship Breakfast

2012-01-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

We are looking forward to the 1st Fellowship Breakfast of the year at Crenshaw Church of Christ on Saturday, January 14, 2012. We will begin our year with a discussion of what we would like to accomplish this year with God's direction. Don't miss this exciting opportunity to share a meal with other men committed to doing the work of the Lord in 2012.

See you there. If you have any questions, just drop send me an email at horacejohnsonjr@gmail.com.

Horace

Testing Grounds In Our Walk

2011-11-24T15:21:00.000-08:00

As conflicts rage inside and out, many men are trying to navigate their way through personal hurricanes.
separations
dying marriages
runaway children
pink slips
business failures
single parenthood
out-of-control debt
unbearable bosses
These are testing grounds--the hiccups, the surprises, the unexpected revelations and losses, the long winters that drag on and one. Will we keep trusting? Will we falter? Weill we keep living God's way? Will we let emotions win? Will we bail out? Will we keep fighting Will we persevere? God's man is always at the crossroads.

First step to purity

2011-11-23T15:37:00.000-08:00

God asks us to lead a life of purity in all areas. Most of us men find that difficult, if not impossible. We have desires that we find hard to control. We feel powerless. We are we supposed to do with all these desires that we have been born with. We are sinners by nature, after all.

The first step in moving toward a life of purity is actually pretty simple. Do you want to hear it? Here it is: Ask God.

That 's right Ask God for a life of purity. That is where everything starts. Without putting God in the mix early, we are doomed to fail. We are powerful within ourselves. We are powerful with God. With the Holy Spirit in us we can do anything.

You want a life of purity take the first step..... "Ask God"

Choosing to be brave

2011-11-22T15:53:00.001-08:00

Lord the choice seems to be a no brainer. Help me to be brave and choose a life of courageous concession.

Dealing with emotions

2011-11-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

When it comes to dealing with emotions, men run for the hills--alone. We are not good at facing our feelings, let alone talking about them. Most of us have been trained to treat our emotions like smelly socks that need to be washed, dried, and put back in the drawer. Here's what we do:

We hide and mask anger.
We internalize pressure.
We bury losses.
We deny being wounded.
We withdraw in the face of hard truth.
We push people away.
We change the scenary.
We keep secrets.

Who has a foothold in our lives? God or Satan?

2011-11-21T13:37:00.000-08:00

Giving Satan a foothold means accepting a lie or doing something that you intuitively know is wrong. When that happens, you're giving Satan a clear shot at bringing about your own demise. When a man willingly surrenders strategic ground to his sworn Adversary, Satan greedily advances and eventually neutralizes a man's ability to serve in our lives because he knows that if he loses it, he will lose his influence, and the tide of war will turn against him. He will be forced to evacuate his space.
As men who wish to pursue the mission and lifestyle of Jesus Christ, we must not allow Satan to gain any footholds that cut off God's power and plan for our lives.

Am I less of a Man? - Part 3

2010-07-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Yeah."

"So what was all that talk at the party about a promotion?"

He shrugged and turned back to me. "I just couldn't bring myself to tell you guys that I didn't have a job."

"Does Margaret know?"

Jerry twisted the rag in his hand. "No."

"No?"

"I leave every morning and come back in the evening, same as I've always done. Only instead of going to a job, I'm looking for one."

"You're kidding me."

"I wish I were."

He looked like a dejected puppy. I draped an arm around his shoulders. "Gosh, man, you should have told me. I could have tried to help, or at least prayed for you."

"What? And have you guys think I'm a loser? No thanks."

"Come on, Jerry. You are not a loser because you've lost your job. Our self-worth is found in God, anyway, not in our job. You know that as well as I do."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Hey, I hope you find something real soon. And remember to let your friends know the next time something important happens in your life, huh?"

Jerry's eyes locked with mine. "Yeah, like you told us about your sperm count being low."

"Well, that's different," I mumbled.

"Yeah, right."

We stood there for a moment without speaking. "Look, I gotta go. I'll stop by tomorrow and see how the job hunt's coming."

As I drove away, Jerry's words haunted me. I had to admit the truth. The low sperm count made me feel less of a man, just like his job loss made him feel. And while those reactions may be perfectly natural, they showed how we were finding at least part of our identity in something besides our relationship with Christ.

For the next several months I considered what it meant to be a man in God's sight. I thought about how Jesus proved himself through obedience to God. I also thought about the great price that Christ paid for me on the cross. I thought about how a man should be measured by the greatness of his faith, not by his sperm count. But it wasn't until I stumbled on the words of Isaiah 56:3 5 that I really began to understand that my identity doesn't come from my ability to procreate, but from the God who made me the man that I am: "Let not any eunuch complain, I am only a dry tree.' For this is what the Lord says: To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose what pleases me and hold fast to my covenant — to them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off' " (Isaiah 56:3 5).

If God didn't think less of me because I had fewer sperm than other guys, what right did I have to think less of myself?

These days I find that I'm much more at peace with my condition. While I still don't want my wife talking about my sperm count at parties, I find that I can accept the fact that our fertility problems lie with me. It's God who makes me who I am, and by his grace I am content with that — no matter what the numbers read.

Am I less of a Man? - Part 2

2010-07-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Quickly I looked around, hoping the other guys hadn't heard. But my best friend, Jerry, patted me on the shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look. "Hey, that's too bad, man. Sorry to hear it."

"What's up?" Adam walked over with a Pepsi in his hand.

Jerry turned to him. "Greg's got a low sperm count."

I felt myself shrinking.

Adam took a swig of his soda and made some remark that I'd rather not repeat.

I tried to fake a chuckle, but it seemed to get stuck behind my tonsils and came out like a choking cough. I cleared my throat and turned toward Jerry, hoping to change the subject before it got any worse. "So how's the job going?" I asked. "Heard you were up for a promotion."

Jerry dropped his hand from my shoulder. He seemed nervous. "Job's going great. I'm looking at getting that raise and promotion any day now."

"Bet Margaret's glad to hear that."

"Yeah, she's pretty excited about having a few extra dollars every month."

The conversation stayed on Jerry's job for a few more minutes before we turned to everyone's picks for the upcoming Super Bowl. I breathed a sigh of relief. Football was a safe topic. Talking about quarterbacks and pass plays kept the conversation from turning back to more personal issues. Still, for the rest of the evening, I pasted on my fake smile while becoming more and more angry with Claire for sharing our private information.

On the way home from the party, my anger boiled over. "What were you thinking, Claire?" I said through gritted teeth.

My wife glanced at me with a confused look on her face. "What are you talking about?"

I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel and glared at her before turning my eyes back to the road. "Oh, come on, you know what I mean. Telling everybody about my sperm count! Don't you think that is a little private?"

"What's the big deal? Ann asked me if we'd found out what was wrong, and I told her."

"You didn't need to mention my low sperm count." I couldn't believe she didn't think it was a big deal.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Claire looked somewhat amused. "If we'd found out I had problems with my ovaries or had a blocked fallopian tube, you wouldn't have any objection to my telling Ann about that."

"That's different."

"What is different about it?"

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel. "Look, my sperm count is private. I don't want you telling anyone about it. No one. Especially our friends."

"Okay, then, what am I supposed to say when someone asks? Lie?"

"I don't know. I don't care. Just don't talk about my sperm count!"

Claire shook her head and turned toward the side window. "All right, all right, I didn't know you were so sensitive about it."

I stared out into the rainy night. The only sound was the sloshing of the windshield wipers. I didn't really know why I'd reacted so severely. Of course, I was a little embarrassed. But Claire was right. If it had been her problem, I wouldn't have thought twice about telling friends the test results. But I felt differently about it when it was my problem. How could she not understand that? How could she not understand that a low sperm count was something that hit a man hard, something you just didn't share in a group?

Now that the sperm issue was out there, I did what I figured any real man would do — I ignored it. Oh, I swallowed a few extra vitamins, took cooler showers, and stayed away from the hot tub, but other than that I simply refused to think about it. But my friend Jerry changed my mind.

I hadn't seen him since the party, so I thought I'd stop by and surprise him at work. But I was the one in for a surprise.

I opened the glass door and stepped up to the receptionist's desk. "Hi, I'm here to see Jerry."

The woman glanced up at me and frowned. "Jerry doesn't work here anymore."

I stepped back. "What? Of course he does."

She shook her head. "Jerry was laid off two months ago."
To months ago? That would be a month before the party. Surely if Jerry had lost his job he would have told me. Something strange was going on, and I needed to find out what it was. I mumbled "thanks" to the receptionist and hurried out to my car.

I finally tracked Jerry down that night in his garage. He was lying beneath the chassis of his 1967 Mustang. "Hey, Jerry!" I called.

He slid out from under the car. "Greg! Good to see you, man. I didn't hear you come in. What's up?"

I crossed my arms. "I don't know, buddy. Why don't you tell me?"

Jerry wiped his hands on his overalls, then stood up. "What do you mean?"

"I stopped by your work today."

An awkward silence fell between us. Jerry turned away to finish cleaning his hands on a rag. He refused to look at me. "Guess you know then."

"They told me you were laid off two months ago."

Final Part 3 tomorrow....

Am I less of a Man? - Dealing with crisis

2010-07-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

How do we deal with crisis? Do we tell our friends or do we keep it to ourselves? Does the crisis make us doubt or abilities or even our manhood. Let's look at this concept but looking at a real-life story of a man that faced a crisis and wasn't sure how to cope until his friend had a crisis also.

I thought my self-image was unshakable. I thought I could handle anything. After all, I was a man's man. A tackle-football, monster-truck, built-Ford-tough type of guy. But then the test results came in.

The phone rang, and I answered it with my usual "Hey, this is Greg."

The nurse from our infertility clinic was on the other end of the line. "Hello, Mr. Smith, this is Jean," she said. "I have the test results for you and your wife."

"Oh, uh, okay." I swallowed. "What's the scoop?"

"Everything looks fine for Claire, but your numbers are, well" — she paused — "quite low."

I felt my stomach twist. "Low? What do you mean by low?"

"Your sperm count came in at three million per milliliter. Normal is between twenty and one hundred and fifty million."

Three? Only three million? "But, but," I sputtered. "Are you sure? Maybe there's been a mistake."

"We're very careful with these tests, Mr. Smith." . Have you been sick with a high fever in the last few months? Or perhaps you've been in a hot tub."

"Uh, no." My grip tightened on the receiver. Slowly I lowered myself to the chair near the phone. "So"—my voice wavered—"what do we do now?"

"Well, we can test you again in a couple of weeks, if you'd like. Other than that, the doctor will be happy to discuss options at your next appointment. You're coming in with Claire on Monday, aren't you?"

"Sure, I guess so." I barely muttered the words. Three million. Only three. The number pounded through my head. I was okay when I thought it was something with my wife that was keeping us from having children. But this, this was different. I was the one with the problem. It was my sperm that were lacking, my fault we weren't able to conceive.

I hung up the phone quietly.

"Who was that, honey?" my wife called from the other room.

"The clinic."

"What did they want?" Claire walked into the room and tossed the towel she was folding onto the kitchen counter.

For a moment I didn't answer.

She looked at me and raised one eyebrow, just like she always does when she thinks I'm acting strangely.

I rubbed my hand over the counter top and glanced away. "The test results are in."

"And?"

"Low sperm count," I mumbled, too quietly for her to hear.

"What?"

"Low sperm count," I said again, just a little louder.

"Oh. Did they say anything about my tests?"

"Yours are all okay."

"So now we know what the problem is." Her eyes caught and held mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Absolutely not, I thought. But I only shook my head, turned, and went into the garage. "Got some work to do," I called behind me. "I'm going to Sam's Hardware." A trip to Sam's was just what I needed to gather my thoughts. If I could hold a few wrenches, try out a couple of power tools, I'd feel fine again.

So I took my trip to the hardware store. I strolled around the tool aisles. I even bought a new table saw. And slowly the implications of those disturbing test results receded to the back of my mind — until Claire and I attended a party at a friend's house a few weeks later.

We were casually chatting with friends. Claire was on the couch with a group of women and I was standing by the TV when I overheard what she was saying.

"Greg's got a low sperm count," I heard her say.

Maybe it was my imagination, but the room seemed to fall silent.

PART 2 tomorrow.......

The man who will STEP up MAKES a difference

2010-07-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

I read a statistic the other day that BLEW me away – if a woman takes her kids to church there is a 1 in 50 chance that child will become a regular church attender…if a man takes his kids to church there is a 1 in 3 chance that they will become regular church attenders.

As leaders of house we are called by God to lead our children to worship and serve the Lord. We cannot depend their mothers to be thier spiritual example. We can DVR the game.

I think we sometimes we feel like the worship service is not "necessarily" for us, but geared for the women in the congregation. That still does not let us of the hook. If we want our children to "children of God" we need to put them in position.

Faith : It is not easy, but it's right - Part 2

2010-06-30T06:00:00.001-07:00

I "learned" to trust God through my journey the past couple of years. God taught me a lesson in faith by putting me a position to be forced to trust Him.

I lost my good paying job in April 2008. Being in the mortgage business for 10+ years, I was well compensated. When the financial bust came, I thought I was prepared financially. I had 5 months of savings in the bank that should last until things pick back up again. What I didn't know, that would not be enough.

I had to trust God through my full two years of not working full time. Going on and off un-employment; jumping from temporary job to part time job, to no job. . What a journey!! God was there the whole time. He didn't let me starve, he didn't let me lose my place to live, he kept my wife encouraged, he kept me propped up. I was also very fortunate to have friends and family to help me on occasion.

What a blessing!

Now don't get it twisted, I did have doubts and tears. I did cry out to God for relief more than once. It was not easy, it was hard, but it was necessary for me to become the person God wanted me to become.

Men. Don't give up! Don't lose hope. Don't stop worshipping God. Don't stop leading your family.

Keep working toward being the man God wants you to be.

It is not easy, but it's right.

Faith : It is not easy, but it's right - Part 1

2010-06-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty: for He maketh sore, and bindeth up: He woundeth, and His mands make whole. He shall deliver thee in six troubles: yea, in seven there shall no evil touch thee. (Job 5:17-19)

I know sometimes you feel God does not have a hand in your life, but trust me he does. It appears that He is not there, but He is.

Perhaps you’ve said, Why am I going through these fiery trials?” God is there with you even now. He is operating in a different realm.

I know so well how hard it is to trust Him when you can’t trace Him! But that’s exactly what He wants you to do—He wants you to trust Him. It may seem that everybody is passing you right now. Avoid measuring yourself against other people. God knows when the time is right. His methods may seem crude and His teachings laborious, but His results will be simply breathtaking. Without scams and games, without trickery or politics, God will accomplish a supernatural miracle because you trusted Him while He worked in the invisible realm.

Remember faith is trust that something will happen even without the evidence to prove it.

God is real!

Part 2 tomorrow.

A new journey - self esteem

2010-06-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

The past couple of years has been a real eye-opener for me. It has at times made me question my worth and self-esteem. I want to begin a series of thoughts about self-esteem and worth as it relates to us men. I hope you join me in this discusion. Your comments are welcome.

I once heard an awesome man say an awesome thing:

"...to be and to become..." -- Dr. Vartan Gregorian, President of the Carnegie Association, New York City.

These five words mean a lot to me because whenever I feel like my self-esteem is hitting rock bottom, I tell myself that I am who I am, and that I will become something more.

I give these words to you; live by them and you'll achieve anything you wish.

See you tomorrow.

The Only One Who Can Help Us

2010-04-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

I think a large number of us go from day to day without any real direction in our lives. We kind of “fly by the seat of our pants”. But the problem is, we are not necessarily happy with how things are going. And to make matters worse, we are not really doing anything to change it.

We struggle with satisfaction from our careers. We struggle with how we handle how our relationships with our wives, girlfriends, friends, and family. Worst of all, we struggle with our relationship with God.

I am asking my fellow Men of God to devote today to ask God to help you in that area. Consider the thing that has hampered your relationship with Him and ask God to help you with that. Consider the one or two things that you have put in front of Him, and ask God for His help to show you how to put Him first.

Consider the one sin that has kept you in bondage for too long; ask God to free you. If it is sexual purity, then today is the day to start your journey back. If it unfaithfulness, then commit yourself today to spend more time with God in devotion and worship. Whatever your struggle is, give it to God TODAY!!!

My biggest struggle is attitude. My outlook is not positive a large part of the time. Today I am praying for that that God will strengthen that lack of faith in what God is doing in my life. I am asking the only one is able to do it.

That is what I am going to do today. Will you join me?

Appreciate each day

2009-11-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

3rd Annual Men's Empowerment Conference

2009-10-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

Announcing the 3rd Annual Men's Empowerment Conference. This year's "M.E.C." promises to be the most challenging and uplifting ever. We have invited three dynamic facilitators this year to lead our conference. I know you will not be disappointed. Amazingly, the conference is still no at cost to you. We look forward to seeing you there!

When People See Me, Who And What Do They See?

2009-09-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Steven Brice

Genesis 1:26 – “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness ...”

Genesis 2:5 – “And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

Genesis 2:15 – “And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.”

If I wanted to learn how to become a doctor, it wouldn’t make sense for me to go to a lawyer and ask him/her to teach me how to become a doctor. Lawyers aren’t in the right position or practice the occupation of a doctor. If a young man has a desire to be a man, he must go to a real man to teach him how to be a man. It would be challenging for a woman to teach a young man how to be a man because she isn’t a man. There are some cases where both young men and older men are seeking to gain knowledge on what manhood is all about. I believe that in order for anyone to learn what real manhood is all about, it make sense to go examine the first man that ever lived. Of course manhood is an exhaustive study; however, there are some nuggets we can pull out of the story of Adam.

Adam is a Reflection

In Genesis 1:26, we notice God saying “Let us…” This indicates that God the Father isn’t alone in this process. When man was made in the image of God, he was made in the image of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Adam was the exact image of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Therefore, when we see Adam, we see God. If we were created in the image of God, that means we look like God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. There are character traits that we need to embrace from the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Adam was Positioned

In Genesis 2:5, there wasn’t a man to cultivate the ground. So God created Adam and “put” him in the garden (according to verse 15). Adam was needed on the earth, and in order for Adam to fulfill that need, he needed to be in the right position. There is no doubt that this world needs REAL MEN. Men are a rare “species” at jobs, at schools, churches, and especially in the home. Adam was needed and therefore he was positioned. Men, we must be at our post, because we are needed. If men are not at their post, who will do their job?

Adam is Working

When God positioned Adam, we notice that he wasn’t ‘chilling’, eating hot wings while watching a football game, or engaging in any sexual activities. I don’t mean any harm, but the first thing we see Adam doing is WORKING. As a matter of fact, the first thing we see God doing in Genesis is working. Adam was placed in the garden to “dress it and to keep it.” He had to work the garden and take care of the garden. There are two terms that doesn’t fit when we think of Real Men: ‘Men’ and ‘Lazy.’ These two terms doesn’t connect in the idea of REAL MEN. Laziness isn’t and shouldn’t be a character trait of men. What if Jesus was lazy in dying for our sins?

Jesus the Example

This portion of Adam’s story reminds me of the whole idea of Jesus coming to earth. Adam looked like God, he was needed on earth thereby being position in the right place, and he was found working. Jesus Christ IS God, and was needed here on earth to die for the sins of the world; however, in order for him to die on earth for the sins of the world, he needed to be POSITIONED in the right place. Jesus was working as a young man (Luke 2:49), he was working when he started his ministry, and he was working the debt of sin when he was dying on the cross of Calvary. Jesus is still working now by sitting at the right hand of God making intercessions for us. When men, women, boys and girls look at us, who and what do they see?

Do they see lazy, irresponsible men, or do they see God reflecting, God positioning, God-working men?

Dealing with the trap of pornography - tips to fight and win this war- part 5

2009-09-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

#5 – Ask God to help you to develop a healthy view of women.

One of the things that helped me the most was when I began to think, “That woman is some mans daughter…and when I have a little girl I don’t want other men viewing her in a lustful way!”

I apologize for those who were looking for a more spiritual solution, you know, you wanted me to say something like, “pray,” or, “read your Bible more,” or something like that. But if you are struggling–please be honest with yourself, you have tried all of those things…and you are still stuck. You MUST take action and get some help…or this can destroy you, your marriage, and your ministry.

I have been there–I have struggled–..and the same Jesus who lives inside of me lives inside of you. Please, for the sake of the Kingdom do something about this!

I don’t normally ask for this–but if you are a reading this let other poeple know about this series - or e-mail people about this–the more we can get this message out the more we can help people.

I don’t care what people think about my past…as long as I can help men protect their future it is all worth it to me!

Dealing with the trap of pornography - tips to fight and win this war- part 4

2009-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

#4 – Tell your wife!

She has a right to know…and she can pray for you in powerful ways.

If you don't tell her, it will hurt her…and if she finds out in some other way–and she will–then not only does she feel like you cheated on her…but she feels lied to her as well.

I know if sounds hard or even seems impossible, but you have to do if you truly want to win this battle.

Dealing with the trap of pornography - tips to fight and win this war- part 3

2009-09-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

#3 – Do not travel alone!

Men, under no circumstances should you travel alone if you are struggling with this, especially if you are in the ministry.

Tell your church that you wish to be a man of integrity…that temptation is real…and they need to fork out the money NOW or LATER.

If you don't won't to involve your church or are not in church ministry, then fork out the money yourself.

Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself from this struggle.

Before you check in, ask the front desk to restrict your movies, and any other opportunity that exists.

By the way, if you struggle with "live women" - the same rule applies.

Dealing with the trap of pornography - tips to fight and win this war- part 2

2009-09-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

#2 – Get away from the net! This is tough for an internet junkie…but it is needed. Jesus said if your right eye causes you to sin then gouge it out…so I don’t think it is a stretch to say if your computer causes you to sin then get rid of it. If you cannot get rid of it because of work or some really good reason, then add accountability software on it. Give the code or password to someone who hold you to it. (your accountability partner) Delete all of your history or cookies that prompt you to that place. Set your browsers, filters, and anything else to restricted access. NO unlimited, non-censored access. Remove yourself from all groups and websites that lead you there. Stay off the computer late at night. Get off before 10pm. Go to bed with your wife. In other words, do whatever you have to do to help yourself fight!

Dealing with the trap of pornography - tips to fight and win this war- part 1

2009-09-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some steps that I took to help me…and that I still follow to this day.

#1 – Ask for accountability!

And I am not talking about finding someone who has the same problem as you and then both of you confessing that you “messed up” that week and then feeling OK because you were not the only one to sin.

I am challenging you to find someone who may or may not struggle with the problem, but is not afraid or hesitant to get into your face and help you beat this demon that is dragging you down!

YOU MUST TELL THE TRUTH TO YOUR ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER IF YOU TRULY WANT WIN THIS WAR!

How Do I Escape the Trap of Pornography in My Life?

2009-05-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

Pornography has become one of the most destructive forces in our culture today. Never has it been so widespread … and never has it been so easy to find.

What we would call "hard-core pornography"—the more explicit images, videos, or descriptions of erotic behavior—have grown rapidly during the last two decades. In the past, pornography was available only at stores or through the mail. But the pornography industry is often the first to take advantage of new media technology—and now with cable television, DVDs, cell phones, iPods, and especially the Internet, it is easier than ever to find, and harder than ever to resist.
Internet pornography has earned itself a reputation for being the crack cocaine of sexual addiction. "It works so quickly and it's so instantly intense," says Dr. Robert Weiss of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles. "We're seeing a whole population of clients who have never had a history with the problem, but for the first time, they're beginning one particular activity and getting hooked."

Jesus said in Matthew 6:22-23, "The lamp of the body is the eye; if therefore your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness." This is a perfect description of what happens when you choose to view pornographic material—it brings darkness into your body.

Pornography takes something that is beautiful when it occurs between a married man and woman and makes it dirty. God created the act of sexual union as a special gift for a husband and wife. It is a celebration of love that strengthens a marriage and builds oneness.

But pornography twists and perverts the beauty and biblical design of God's creation. The focus on sensual pleasure becomes such a powerful drug that it destroys all that is important in the rest of their lives. It leads men and women to look at each other as nothing more than sex objects. It causes them to fantasize about sexual relationships with other people, and that's a terrible blow to their marital commitment.

Sometimes the addiction to pornography on internet is so easy and consuming a man can find himself spending hours at a time trying to find pictures that would stimulate him. Just as with a drug addict, it took more and more pornography to satisfy his addiction. A married man would being to push his wife away in many direct and indirect ways. He would delay doing other things because he was on the internet. These changes can occur so gradually that he does not eveb realize that it had progressed to that point.

This is just one example of the frustration, shame, and guilt that habitual use of pornography brings to a life. Sin can be alluring, and can bring temporary pleasure, but in the end sin will destroy you. James 1:14-5 says, "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death."

Sometimes pornography is described as a "victimless crime," but in reality you are a victim, your wife is a victim, and your marriage is a victim.

Breaking Free From the Trap

If you want to break free from the sexual sin and lust fueled by pornography, the first thing you need to realize is that you can't do it in your own power. You need the presence of God in your life. Over the next couple of days, we will offer some suggested steps for dealing with the trap of pornography.

leadership with a heart

2009-02-25T12:08:00.000-08:00

Nehemiah 1:4 When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.

Nehemiah wept.

He mourned. He fasted. He prayed.

Marks of a leader during unholy turmoil.

Nehemiah's heart is impacted by a cause.

Nehemiah did not throw a quick prayer toward heaven and move on. He stopped. For days. Leadership is not always about barking orders or getting things done now. It's about seeking the Lord with mourning and fasting and prayer. It's about turning to the Lord before turning up the heat.

You make a lot of decisions each day. Most can be made on the fly. But some will require prayer and fasting. Perhaps mourning. Never underestimate the power of heart-broken reflection before asking others to follow you or do what you ask.

Job Loss, Job Search Checklist

2009-02-17T15:00:00.000-08:00

Job Loss, Job Search Guidelines Checklist:
Write about what upsets you.
Do what revitalizes you. Enjoy pleasant moments each day.
Choose to have it happen. Avoid "If only..."
Find the unexpected opportunity. What calls to you?
Form a small support group. Encourage, coach, and help each other.
Bolster your self-esteem, make a list.
Add personal testimonials to your resume.
When are you at your best? What is easy to do? What do you do well?
Find value in what you are going through.
Develop empathy for employers. What is an ideal employee like?
Give up false modesty. Practice describing your strengths.
Be ready for the resiliency question.
Read articles and books about highly resilient people.
Make finding a job your job. Be persistent.
Stay balanced, expect to be hired while being emotionally prepared to be turned down.
Be open to unexpected opportunities.
Use your imagination, be playful, be bold.

Resiliency Skills for Handling the Emotional Side of Job Loss and Job Search PART 2

2009-02-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

2. Resiliency starts with adapting quickly to the new reality. Dwelling on "If only,..." keeps you mired in the past and is discouraging. Choose to have this happen at this time in your life. Why is it good that this happened? What unexpected opportunity has losing your job opened up for you?

3. Discover something of value in your experience. People hit with major, life disrupting experiences will tend to have either a victim/blaming reaction or a coping/learning reaction. Find the gift. Why was it good that this happened? What have you learned from this experience? How has it made you a stronger, better person? Prospective employers are impressed with someone who can admit to being upset and distressed, but have managed to find value in the experience. Practice telling people, "It was rough at first, but I'm glad it happened because...." Find encouragement in resiliency stories.

Resiliency Skills for Handling the Emotional Side of Job Loss and Job Search

2009-02-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

Losing your job through no fault of your own can wipe you out emotionally. How do you deal with your loss of esteem?

With anger?

Here are guidelines for skillfully handling the emotional challenge of dealing with job loss and searching for new employment:

1. Write about how you feel. Include all the things you would like to have said to your previous bosses but didn't. Continue expressing your feelings over and over until you feel emptied. Do this once a day for a week. Afterwards do this anytime you have a flashback.

Psychologist James Pennebaker had one group of unemployed people write down their feelings about being laid off for twenty minutes, five days in a row. He had a similar group of unemployed people write about their time schedule for their job search for twenty minutes, five days in a row. In the months that followed more of the people who wrote about their emotions found employment. Afterwards the emotions writing group said they wished someone had told them about what to do sooner.

Writing about your feelings is especially important if the way you were terminated was emotionally painful. Recall the details and write about how you feel over and over and over again. Doing this helps you overcome emotional trauma, begin to heal, and stop feeling like a victim wounded for life.

Do pleasant, enjoyable things each day. Do what revitalizes you! Positive emotions expand your problem solving skills and strengthen your resiliency.

How to pray in the midst of financial catastrophe

2009-02-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

Historians will look at this time as a financial tsunami that left in its wake millions of foreclosed homes, bankruptcies, and lost jobs. As if competing to abandon the basic tenets of capitalism, governments threw money at banks, investment companies, and huge insurers in an attempt to restore trust and stanch the flow of capital.

During one of the most volatile periods, a week in which global stock markets declined by $7 trillion, people are asking themselves, "how should a person pray during a crisis like this?"

There are two stages to consider in our approach to prayer in this situation.

The first stage is simple; an instinctive cry: "Help!" For someone who faces a job cut or health crisis or watches retirement savings wither away, prayer offers a way to voice fear and anxiety. I have learned to resist the tendency to edit my prayers so that they sound sophisticated and mature. I believe God wants us to come exactly as we are, no matter how childlike we may feel. A God aware of every sparrow that falls surely knows the impact of scary financial times on frail human beings.

Indeed, prayer provides the best possible place to take our fears. As a template for prayers in crisis, I look at Jesus' night in Gethsemane. He threw himself on the ground three times, sweat falling from his body like drops of blood, and felt "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." In the midst of that anguish, however, his prayer changed from "Take this cup from me" to "May your will be done." In the scenes of trial that followed, Jesus was the calmest character present. His season of prayer had relieved him of anxiety, reaffirmed his trust in a loving Father, and emboldened him to face the horror that awaited.

If I pray with the intent to listen as well as talk, I can enter into a second stage, that of meditation and reflection. Okay, my life savings has virtually disappeared. What can I learn from this seeming catastrophe? In the midst of the financial news, a Sunday school song kept running through my mind:

The wise man built his house upon the rock …

And the wise man's house stood firm.

The foolish man built his house upon the sand …

Oh, the rain came down, and the floods came up.

A time of crisis presents a good opportunity to identify the foundation on which I construct my life. If I place my ultimate trust in financial security or in the government's ability to solve my problems, I will surely watch the basement flood and the walls crumble.

How to weather a financial storm

2009-02-05T11:48:00.001-08:00

Weathering a Storm
Don't panic. When facing a financial crisis, stay calm. This will help you think logically and you'll avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse.
Quit spending money. When faced with a financial challenge, it's easy to use your credit cards. But you may run up your balance to the credit limit and not be able to afford the payments, which will result in a poor credit rating—something you won't want during a crisis time.
Prioritize your bills. Pay essential, or survival, bills first: food, mortgage or rent, utilities. Next, pay car insurance, medical needs, child support, and any loans such as automobiles and furniture that are secured as collateral. Then pay the nonessential bills—those debts in which no immediate consequences occur if paid late: credit and charge cards, attorney, medical, and accounting bills, newspaper and magazine subscriptions, life insurance, childcare, gyms, or clothing.
Communicate with your creditors. If you can't pay your bills or can only pay a partial amount, your creditors may be able to help you to establish a repayment plan. Some lenders will allow you to defer one payment a year, meaning the payment for that particular month doesn't have to be made. The deferred payment is added to the end of the contract.
Take notes of any conversations with creditors, listing the date and person with whom you spoke. Whatever arrangement you make, get it in writing from the creditor before you send in money.
Know your rights. Many collection agencies are in violation of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. To get a copy of this legislation, visit www.ftc.gov. If you feel you've been violated, file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission at their website.
Find outside help. Many churches and parachurch organizations run programs to help you navigate through the financial storm. A debt management company may also be able to help you reduce your payments, lower your interest rates, and pay off your debt faster than trying to do it yourself. Such companies can also negotiate with your creditors to bring your accounts current if they're past due.
Avoid bankruptcy. Bankruptcies should be your last resort. A bankruptcy will remain on your credit report for up to 10 years.

A difficult assignment

2008-12-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

One of the most difficult assignments you'll ever have is to integrate the sexual person you are with the emotional, spiritual, social, and relational person you can and will be. Don't view your sexuality as something shamefully separate and distinct form the rest of you. Instead, develop every advantage possible so you can win the battle for sexual integrity.

With no defenses and no understanding, you're an easy target for this roaring lion of a devil who wants nothing more than to ensnare you sexually and to destroy your life. But by reading this blog, applying the principals, and reaching out to talk to God and others, the Enemy can't win, even if you stumble from time to time.

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him....As a father has compassion on his children so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

(Psalm 103:10-11, 13-15)

Battle for sexual purity

2008-12-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

How do you do the character work necessary for sexual purity?

Holiness is not some nebulous thing. It's a series of right choices. You needn't wait for some holy cloud to form around you. You'll be holy when you choose not to sin. You're already free from the pwer of sexual immorality; you are not yet freee from the habit of sexual immortality, until you choose to be - until you say, "'That's enough! I'm choosing to live purity!"

Today I recognize the freedom and holiness that are rightfully mine.

I'm no longer a slave to sexual impurity, but rather I'm a slave to righteouness.

I've had enough!

I am choosing to live purely.

A fresher view of sin

2008-12-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

We need a fresher view of sin. It even might be helpful to have a whole new word of sin. God's laws a good thing, and they are meant to be our friend. His laws teach us what is normal and what is not, yet we fixate too much on the restrictions represented by the word sin.

Its not that the word sin is a poor one. The literal Greek meaning - "missing God's mark" - is the right on target. Even that emotional impact that the word win evokes shouldn't be a problem, because we need a word that elicits urgency and respect. After all, sin is a dangerous thing. Any veteran of the battle for sexual purity knows firsthand the destruction, bondage, and spiritual disease that sin carries with it. We need to fear God and respect sin for our own good.

A fight for sexual purity

2008-12-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

For many men who are willing to fight for sexual purity, an important step is finding accountability support in a men's Bible study gorup, in a smaller group of one of two other men serving as accountability partners, or by going into counseling.

Use caution, however, if you've considered enlisting your wife as your accountability partner. There's no way most guys will get real with thier spouses in something as starkly pesonal as one's thought life and masturbation habits.

For an accountability partner, enlist a male friend, perhaps someone older and well respected in the church--someone who can pray for you and ask you the tough questions.

And keep in mind that accountability works only when coupled with a firm commitment to win.

Accountability

2008-12-11T12:03:00.000-08:00

Men need to be accepted as men. This is the very reason accoutability groups are so vital. The true intimacy of friendship and acceptance heals the wounds so that the false intimacy of masturbation and porn is no longer needed as a pain-killing medication.
Even more important, men need to be accepted and affirmed by God.
A thought for today: God just wants to put His arm around you and have a steak with you.

Don't listen to the lie

2008-12-08T23:56:00.000-08:00

While there may not be spiritual oppression involved in your battle, there’ll always be spiritual opposition. The Enemy is constantly near your ear. He doesn’t want you to win this fight, and he knows the lies that so often break men’s confidence and their will to win. Expect to hear lies and plenty of them.
Satan’s lie: “You’re the only one dealing with this problem. If anyone ever finds out, you’ll be the laughingstock of the church!”
The truth: Most men deal with this problem, so no one will laugh.

~

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able; but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.
(1 CORINTHIANS 10:13, NASB)

Early signs of stroke - Save a life

2008-11-24T10:27:00.000-08:00

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .

She said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.

Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at
6 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ.

Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die.... they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE.....

Remember the '3' steps, STR .

Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.

The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S.... Ask the individual to SMILE.
T..... Ask the person to TALKand SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently, e.g. It is sunny out today)
R ....Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -- Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.
If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other,that is also an indication of a stroke.

Older men / Younger Men

2008-11-20T10:41:00.000-08:00

There is a perception among men that as we get older we don’t need help from anyone; that we have it all figured out. At least, that is what we tell ourselves. We do not have all the answers, in fact we are almost as confused as we were when we younger. We just know how to hide it better. Sure we know how to navigate through most problems in life, but we still have doubts about how we handle problems, how we handles our wives, what to do about our future. Mature men even need help with how to handle their struggles with sin. If mature men admit these challenges, then they will be in a better position to help younger men.
Younger men need more mature men’s help. They need help with financial decisions. They need help with dating advice, with choosing a wife, with how to keep a marriage together. They need help. But if older, more mature, men are not honest with themselves, how can they be expected to be honest when giving advice to younger men.

Prostate concerns for men over 50

2008-11-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

If you're over 50, do what every man over 50 should do. Have a digital rectal exam as part of your annual checkup. (If you have a family history of prostate cancer, start these checkups at 40.) You may also want to take a PSA blood test and/or ultrasound. Openly discuss any changes in urinary habits or bothersome symptoms with your doctor. Early diagnosis of the most serious prostate disease - prostate cancer - increases your changes of a cure (90%).
There are side-effects. The most serious side-effects resulting from prostate surgery, are impotence and incontinence (loss of bladder control). Impotence may result if the nerves to the penis, which are very close to the urethra, need to be removed during surgery. Incontinence may result if the prostate is removed, because the bladder may then lose its ability to hold back urine.
Prostate treatment concerns - Most men now take an active role in treatment decisions for prostate cancer. The factors they say are very important include: slow the cancer, extend life, improve life quality, limit side effects, relieve pain, maintain sexual function and lower cost. Besides, it may save your life as well as your lifestyle.

Prostate cancer

2008-11-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

Prostate cancer is a serious disease because it is a malignant condition. Malignant tissue is present in the prostate and the malignancy can spread to other parts of the body. Although prostate cancer can occur in men of all ages, it affects one in every ten men but is most commonly found in men 40 and older. (Around 181,000 men will be diagnosed and 31,000 will die this year of prostate cancer (about the same number of women will die of breast cancer during the same time.)
In Dr. Bob Arnot's new book he says "Most men already have it (prostate cancer) by the time they hit middle age. He cites autopsies showing that 25 percent of men in their 30s and 40 percent of men in their 50s have signs of prostate cancer in its latent stage.
In its early stages, prostate cancer may not cause urinary symptoms. Therefore, routine rectal examinations and/or other tests are important in detecting cancer early. When caught early, prostate cancer has a 90% cure rate. If, however, it has spread beyond the prostate, it is much more difficult to treat. Once the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes and other organs, there is no cure, only treatment of the disease. In its advanced stages - when cure is most difficult - prostate cancer may produce symptoms that are similar to an enlarged prostate: frequent urination, difficulty starting urination, incomplete emptying of bladder, blood or pus in urine, blood in semen, low back pain, interrupted urine stream, or a weak urine stream.

Prostatitis

2008-11-11T12:17:00.000-08:00

Prostatitis is an inflammation of the prostate, which may be caused by the presence of a bacterial infection. This condition affects 60% of all males from puberty on and can occur in any prostate regardless of size. Some of the symptoms of prostatitis are similar to those caused by an enlarged prostate. The most common symptoms include: pain or a burning sensation during urination, frequent urination (especially disturbing at night), a frequent sensation that you must urinate right away, impotence, burning with ejaculation or discolored semen. It can also be accompanied by chills and fever (in acute infections).
Treatment. It is sometimes difficult to cure and for some, it becomes a chronic disease. It is primarily treated with antibiotics. Other treatments involve the use of anti-inflammatory agents or medicines that relax the prostate tissue. Dietary adjustments, heat, vitamin and mineral supplements as well as treatment of chronic constipation and coltities, can also bring relief. It will not lead to sterility or cancer. In time it will respond to proper treatment.

Prostate Health

2008-11-10T20:15:00.000-08:00

Prostate Health - The Short Version
The prostate doesn't usually come up during casual conversation, so you may know little about this gland. Like many men, you may be prompted to learn about it because you have heard that men over 50 are more likely than younger men to have "prostate trouble". Or that prostate cancer is the #1 cancer for nonsmokers. Or, you may have noticed changes in your urinary habits that have made you wonder "Is something wrong? or "Should I see my doctor?
While I'm not a doctor or an expert on this subject, I will attempt to explain the role of the prostate and how the prostate changes as a man ages. I will outline some prostate-related conditions and what steps you can take to help catch prostate disease early. I hope this will help you better understand prostate disease and its possible impact on the quality of your life.
What is the prostate and where is it located in the body? Only males have prostates. It is a gland located just below the bladder, the organ that stores urine. The prostate surrounds a part of the urethra, the tube through which urine flows.
What is the prostate`s function? As you probably know, the testicles produce sperm. But what most don`t know is that the prostate contributes to the fluid that helps to carry the sperm. This fluid, which is released during ejaculation, is also thought to supply nourishment for the sperm, to help make the vaginal canal less acidic, and to help increase the likelihood of conception.
In the coming posts, I will discuss the three common, yet very different, diseases of the prostate. Although they have different treatments, they may cause many of the same symptoms.

Health Screening for Men

2008-11-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

Routine physical. A routine physical is an ideal opportunity for you to ask questions about your health and for your doctor to recommend ways to remain healthy. However, not everyone needs to see a doctor regularly, especially if you are young and healthy. Routine visits become more important and should occur more frequently after you reach age 50, when the rates of heart disease and cancer increase for most men.

Weight/Body Mass Index (BMI). Being overweight increases your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and possibly some types of cancer. Use our BMI calculator to see if you are the right weight for your height. Ideally, your BMI should be between 19 and 24. A BMI of 25 to 29 is considered "overweight," whereas a BMI of 30 or more is considered "obese."
Blood pressure. High blood pressure increases your risk of heart disease and stroke. If your readings are higher than 140/90 milligrams of mercury, your doctor will probably recommend lifestyle changes — exercise and diet — and possibly medications to bring your blood pressure under better control. Individuals who have readings at the high end of the "normal" range should have their blood pressure checked as often as every six to 12 months.

Cholesterol. High cholesterol also increases your risk of heart disease and stroke. If you have other risks for heart disease — such as high blood pressure or diabetes — your doctor may recommend checking your cholesterol as often as every one to two years. Others may need their cholesterol checked less often.

Diabetes. Diabetes is a common condition that greatly increases your risk of other medical problems, including heart disease, kidney failure, blindness and circulatory problems. Screening is the best way to detect diabetes, because many adults who develop diabetes will have few if any symptoms. Screening is particularly important for those at high risk of diabetes, including individuals who:
Are obese
Have a family history of diabetes
Are from certain ethnic groups, including African-Americans and Native Americans
Have high blood pressure or high cholesterol
Prostate Cancer Screening. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer diagnosed in men. However, screening for early stages of prostate cancer remains controversial. Men who are older than 50 and younger men with a family history of prostate cancer should discuss the risks and benefits of screening with their doctor. The best tests for prostate cancer include the digital rectal exam and prostate-specific antigen and a PSA Free screening.

Colon cancer screening. Colon cancer is the third leading cause of cancer deaths in men. All men (and women) older than 50 should be screened regularly for colon cancer. Younger men with a family history of colon cancer should also be screened. Unfortunately, fewer than one-half of Americans at risk undergo regular screening.

Immunizations. Immunizations are a simple and effective way to avoid important infections. In addition to those listed in the table, a number of other immunizations (such as hepatitis B, hepatitis A and Lyme disease) are available. Talk to your doctor about which immunizations are appropriate for you.

Other types of screening. Your doctor may also perform or recommend the following types of
Screening for other infectious diseases, such as tuberculosis and hepatitis C, especially if you are at increased risk

Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Marriage

2008-11-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Marriage

• Have a plan of when relatives will visit and for how long
• Take a walk if you find yourself frustrated
• Create a list of positive attributes and admirable qualities of your wife
• Let negative comments roll off your back
• Pray
• Prepare for the holidays by communicating expectations ahead of time
• Go away once or twice a year without the children
• Get creative and plan a date night once a week (at least once a month w/out the kids)
• Get intentional about looking for ways to show her she is still number one in your life
• Get personal by having intimate conversations with no interruptions

Feeling a litte down

2008-10-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Changes in feelings such as fear and anger are a normal part of life. In fact, learning about your own mood changes, like what triggers them and when, is important to knowing who you are.
There are many situations, such as a divorce in the family or strained relationships with friends, that can cause emotional stress. Difficult situations may make you feel sad or "blue" for a while. That's different than having a mental health problem like depression.

Certain experiences, thoughts, and feelings signal the presence of mental health problems or the need for help. The following signs are important to recognize:
finding little or no pleasure in life
feeling worthless or extremely guilty
withdrawing from other people
experiencing severe anxiety, panic, or fear
having big mood swings
experiencing a change in eating or sleeping patterns
having very low energy
losing interest in hobbies and pleasurable activities
feeling easily irritated or angry
experiencing racing thoughts or agitation
believing that others are plotting against you
wanting to harm yourself or someone else

It's not necessarily easy to spot these signs, or to figure out what they mean.
As a general rule: the longer the signs last, the more serious they are, and the more they interfere with daily life, the greater the chance that professional treatment is needed.

When dealing with mental health or emotional problems, it's important not to go at it alone.
First step: reach out to people you trust. Think of all the people you can turn to for support. These are people who are concerned about you and can help comfort you, who will listen to you and encourage you, and who can help arrange for treatment.

Research shows that males are more reluctant to look for help and receive it than females are. While some people may have difficulty reaching out to others they trust, taking this first step in getting help is important for everyone to do.

Some families have health insurance that helps them get the services they need from mental health professionals. Insurance may cover some of the cost of these services. Many insurance companies provide a list of licensed mental health professionals in your area.

Midlife Spread Ups Stroke Risk

2008-10-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

Study Shows That Obesity in Middle Age Is Stroke Risk Factor

Being overweight after age 40 could double a man's stroke risk, a new study shows.
It's more evidence that obesity is a major -- but modifiable -- risk factor for numerous chronic health problems including heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and now stroke risk.
Little research has investigated the stroke-obesity link, and most has produced conflicting results, writes lead researcher Katarina Jood, MD, with the Institute of Clinical Neuroscience at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Goteborg, Sweden.
Her study appears in the November issue of Stroke: Journal of the American Heart Association.
It shows that treating high blood pressure and diabetes is not enough to prevent stroke, she says in a news release. "Obesity should also be considered a significant risk factor."

Obesity and Stroke Risk
In Jood's study, she and her colleagues examined whether there's an association between high body mass index (BMI, a measure of body fat) and stroke risk. They also looked at whether this association was mediated by the effects of obesity on high blood pressure and diabetes -- known stroke risk factors.
The study was conducted in Sweden and involved 7,402 middle-aged men (47-55) whose health was tracked for more than 28 years. There were 873 strokes.
Obese men with a BMI over 30 had double the risk of stroke compared with men of normal weight whose BMI was between 20 and 23. Even after other risk factors -- like high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, stress, exercise, smoking, and family history -- were factored in, the increased stroke risk still held true, reports Jood.

Men's Empowerment Conference 2008

2008-10-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

Please mark your calenders for the Men's Empowerment Conference 2008. The dates are December 19-21, 2008.

There will be 7 dynamic speakers throughout the weekend.

This years conference theme is "Man Behind The Mask". We hope to help men explore themselves on a deeper level than ever before. Sometimes men have a person that is different than the one we show to the rest of the world (even sometimes to ourselves). We hope to have men consider they way they view themselves and the mask we sometimes hide behind.

It promises to be a GREAT conference.

You can register on line by visiting the website: www.crenshawchurchofchrist.com and clicking on the registration link.

Dealing with the Past

2008-06-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

If positive experiences can be a source of joy and strength, so can negative past experiences be a source of ongoing pain. Many prison inmates say they are able to withstand the regret, the obvious remorse, and the continued reminder of events of their painful past. Many of them say that they transcend the walls inside of their mind by reminiscing on good days, happy moments, and pleasurable thoughts. You have to choose what you feed on if you are going to survive life’s many storms. (Philippians 4:8)

We can probably recall moments that seemed unbearable and lasted far longer than what the clock or calendar revealed. These are probably moments we would like to forget, to bury and suppress as if they never happened. But they are there, my friend, and unless we acknowledge and confront their anguish and embrace what we can learn from them, they will continue to haunt and undermine us.

If we do not remember the past, then we are doomed to repeat. Whether these dangerous fragments include memories of abuse, abandonment, adultery, or shame, we can learn much by allowing them occasional time to air out before us. What can we learn from such devastating moments? I believer we can learn to know ourselves better, our weaknesses and limitations, our wounds and scars. We also can learn to take care of ourselves and know what we need, forgiving ourselves and other for their mistakes. Finally we can learn something of God’s goodness to sustain us through these hardships.

Alot of times the painful events of our past will help us bring about the good for this day (Genesis 50:20)

Remember The Good

2008-06-13T12:17:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that time is a limited commodity and is marked off in regular intervals, there is one way to slow time down and control it for ourselves. It sounds cliche' and corny, like some one-liner from a Hallmark card, but we must learn to transform moments into memories. Too many men miss the moments of their lives. Could-haves, should-have, would-haves preoccupy our thoughts. We are so mired in a bog of "if onlys" that we are stuck as if in quicksand while the rest of the world passes us by. We all know men who ignore the present because they are so worried about the future. Don’t let life pass you by without noticing! Pay attention to the moments and preserve them in your memory.

Think about some of your very best moments. What would you include on your top-ten list of all-time joyful moments? Meeting your wife for the first time? Being there when your son or daughter was born? Getting a bike for Christmas when you were ten? Maybe the best moments in your life were filled with love and affection, intimacy or accomplishment. We would do well to stop once in a while and pay attention and to savor the moment that you are in. Even God stopped in the midst of the creation to acknowledge things He had done well. He says over and over, “And that was good”.